What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone shattered a urinal.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
