So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
