you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They took my balls.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
