I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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