my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
