I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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