Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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