just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize