hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
