I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
