that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
