At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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