so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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