Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
