can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
