in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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