some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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