$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
