So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
