My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
