I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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