dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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