I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
