3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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