In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize