spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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