the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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