I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize