I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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