what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize