Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
