don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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