As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
