Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
