He is an equal opportunity slut.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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