omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
did you just send me my own nude
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
