Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
