I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
