K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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