I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
