So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
