Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
