She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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