My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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