We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You ruined the universe
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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