Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
