Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
