omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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