I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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