Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
