does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it was like eating out sand paper
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
