So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
