Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
