i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
