As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
