i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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