got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
