i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
