how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize